Let's look at this logically.She... can't read minds. She doesn't know what anyone's thinking, let alone what you're thinking, which is good because let's be realistic. Not even you know that, most of the time.
But she can sense my confusion, my ... she could know
Randi didn't ask for this. She admitted she should have told me before, but honestly, neither of us suspected there'd be an after. Right? But she'd have known before I'd have. There's so much that goes on between the instant of attraction and the decision to act on it, and she was... she was privy to all of that. It might have even helped her make her decision, which would in turn have "helped" me make mine.
I just... I guess I just want to whine and say I don't understand. I don't understand, because I was sort of... ready to maybe jump in feet first. For cryin' out loud, I had a spare shirt tucked into my bag just in case last night happened again. Who is that? Not me, not usually, and what was different this time? Oh, right, the proposed lady-friend can read my mind. Kinda.
There's a conclusion there I don't want to draw. It's not even worth thinking through to decide whether it's even possible, because Randi wouldn't do that. But even as I sit here writing fervently about how it's not worth thinking about, I'm thinking about it. She... I thought it was so cool how she smiled at all the right times, said the right things, knew what I was feeling and how to sorta... fix it... Well of course she did. But. Those are my things to feel and deal with, and I just can't help feeling infiltrated and smoothed over when my unsettled emotions were inconvenient for he
This is clearly going to take more than 27 minutes writing in a journal to resolve. But I have to try to leave on a good note. Randi needs... well she didn't ask for help. She didn't ask for my help, and that's a whole journal entry by itself, but regardless, she needs it. Probably. Someone to talk to. Maybe eventually, I can be that for her. She was forced into telling me because of what we fell into together, but now that she has --
Well. Eventually.
My name is Josiah Rookwood, citizen of Earth, member of the Tau'ri, eater of spaghetti. And though this journal will never leave the locked desk drawer of my private quarters, you should know that much of the information contained it in is CONFIDENTIAL, top-secret, eyes-only kinda stuff. So unless you have the proper security clearance to be down here on level 25, standing in my room which should have been locked, you should be thinking about getting the Heck out of dodge but fast, because lots of heavily armed security guys are on their way to take you down.
That being said, herein lie the personal musings and archived accounts of some of my history, saved for posterity in the event of my death and/or sudden fame.
That being said, herein lie the personal musings and archived accounts of some of my history, saved for posterity in the event of my death and/or sudden fame.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
The Proposed
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1 comments:
This is awesome! I never thought of doing a character journal but what a great idea.
I could get Lucy started on this . . . Hmmm. You should get back to it!
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